Making Sense of Life’s Experiences – Stuart Segall

How do we make sense of life? How do life experiences filter our perspectives, conclusions and beliefs?

Consider these two affirmations:

1) I grew up liking dogs because my first dog was a special loving experience.

2) I don’t like dogs at all because when I was little, a dog bit me.

Which child are you?

Our thoughts and choices are deeply influenced by our human experiences, which act as filters through which we perceive and interpret the world. Our past experiences play a significant role in shaping how we perceive and interpret daily life around us. This process is known as perception.

We select, organize, and interpret information based on our previous experiences, which act as filters. These filters influence how we understand new situations, interact with others, and make decisions. These filters help determine whether we hide or seek out life. Whether we are pioneers or settlers, hermits or affable, blunt or gracious. Much of what we believe and how we behave happened way back when….

It’s fascinating how our brains work to create a cohesive understanding of our surroundings by piecing together various elements from our past. This can sometimes limit us as we struggle to be objective looking at a situation, using those experiences to help us navigate the world, even though it may not be for the better.

Our parents are the most common example of where are filters originated. When we are chips off the old block, this is not always said positively. When my wife used to say “You sound just like your father.” It was never a compliment, but it was probably true!

As children, we heard our parents address us, and we overheard them often expressing opinions while we were highly impressionable. My parents had either a dogma or an opinion about almost everything, and I had good ears, so I was shaped early and young like many of us here.

Our brains store memories of past experiences, which shape how we respond to new situations. If you’ve had a positive experience with a particular activity, you’re more likely to choose it again in the future. For example, if someone has had positive experiences with cats, they are likely to perceive cats as friendly and approachable. Conversely, if someone has had negative experiences, they might feel anxious or fearful around cats.

It is important how with each new situation we may have a bias from a previous experience that came to our mind. I can reflect how whether it came to my concept of God, church, politics, race relations, or most relationships, how early on I was influenced by their osmosis or presence in my life. When they spoke, they were passionate which all the more set up those filters.

Emotions play a significant role in filtering our thoughts. They can color our perceptions and influence our decisions. For instance, feeling anxious might make you more cautious, while feeling happy might make you more open to taking risks.

When I applied to college, my brain said “You won’t make it, your past school grades are proof!” My heart expressed “You have to”, because I could hear my mom in my youth tell me “It is your destiny!” Powerful stuff. The question “Are you listening to your head or your heart?” shows the power of emotional thoughts. In the clinical world, these can be referred to as “Cognitive Biases.”

So, our brains take shortcuts based on past experiences to make decisions quickly, but these can sometimes lead to biased thinking. The society and culture we grow up in provide a framework of norms and values that influence our thoughts and choices. This includes everything from language and traditions to societal expectations and media. If we grow up in a culture of prejudice and discrimination, and this was what we saw from family, influencers, and friends, it is hard to launch without those events biasing our thinking.

Our subconscious mind also plays a role in filtering thoughts. It processes information without our conscious awareness, often based on deep-seated beliefs and past experiences mentioned earlier here. Understanding these filters can help us become more aware of how our thoughts and choices are shaped, allowing us to make more informed and conscious decisions. It also should inspire humility and contemplation in that we are not as objective by nature as we might think we are.

Micah 6:8 is a well-known verse that emphasizes the core principles of living a life pleasing to God:

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

To act justly and love mercy and walk humbly with God necessitates seeing one’s own biases. My whole concept is based on my “past”. So, I, Stuart need to go to the mirror and address how I formed these concepts.

Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

With my failings and tendencies, this scripture cautions me to be mindful of subjectivity when left to my own thoughts and perceptions. As we navigate the day we can ask God for a spiritual mind of objectivity. This approach is a blessing not only to ourselves, but to family, friends, and anyone around us.

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Stuart Segall lives about an hour north of Seattle.  He has spent most of his adult life counseling, encouraging, inspiring and uplifting others.

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