I Can See! It’s a Miracle! – Ken Williams

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A familiar Christian song poses the question, did the Virgin Mary know when she kissed her firstborn baby’s face, that she was kissing the face of God. She had pondered the angel Gabriel’s words, but did she see God, when she looked at the swaddled baby boy she held in her arms? For that matter, what did the baby Jesus see when he looked into his mother’s eyes? What did he comprehend? I don’t know but I do know he was looking into his mother Mary’s eyes, and she was looking at God.

The apostle John’s beautiful gospel of Jesus Christ shares this conclusion of one of Jesus’ private conversations with one of his beloved friends. Thomas was disturbed, fearful and angry. He saw Jesus’ cold, battered, bloodless, body placed in a cold stone tomb. The disciple’s hopes seemed to disappear like the illusion of a beautiful mirage. Thomas refused to allow his friends to console him. He would not believe that Jesus was alive from the dead. Jesus came to Thomas and encouraged him to touch him. Thomas felt the warmth of Jesus’ living flesh and spontaneously said, “My Lord and God!” Jesus said to his friend, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.’” (John 20:27-29 NRSV throughout).

Jesus’ church is founded on the miracle of believing Jesus is God and willingly following him. John recorded some signs that Jesus performed, inviting us to believe in the One we cannot see, and yet come to believe that he is the Messiah, the Son of God. It is through this belief without seeing that we come to believe and have life in his name (John 20:30-31).

I read John’s gospel and by God’s grace alone, I was convicted to open the door and welcome Jesus in. I was convinced Jesus is God and became aware of God’s presence and guiding light. I comprehended I was forgiven, reconciled to God, and saved, but for years sensed something was missing. But what could possibly be missing? I was no longer spiritually blind; I know I am God’s child but felt like one grain of sand on the vast beach of the innumerable multitude. I trusted God and knew he searched for me when I was lost and brought me home. But he has done for all his children, as numerous as the stars of heaven. I knew God was doing for me what I could not do for myself and yet was unable to embrace the intimacy of belonging to God, not yet. Patience was in order.

I had memorized the prologue to John’s gospel of Jesus, and requested God to help me see and embrace this gift of relationship he was holding for me to accept. My eyes were opened just over seven years ago. It occurred suddenly one morning as I prayed over the prologue. I comprehend something beyond my knowledge. I realized Jesus is my Friend. As one hymn states, I could feel the warmth of his embrace. I was startled and said out loud, “I can see! It’s a miracle!”

John’s prologue rang with new clarity as I read the following portion again and again, “The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him…But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.” (John 1:9-13). I had received him, believed in his name, and had been born a child of God.

The opening of the eyes of my heart resulted from more than the accumulation of sound doctrine, John’s awesome gospel, and good theology, as vital as these are. The Holy Spirit had patiently worked with me over the years. Now I knew I was born of God.

When I declared, “Jesus is my Friend! I believe! It’s a miracle!” I became aware of the warmth of God’s embrace, being swaddled and held in my Father’s arms. I could see his smiling, loving face, but, like all newborn babies I felt love beyond my comprehension. I know Jesus said that each one of us that repents by receiving God’s gracious gift, the Son of God, gives him joy. I’m delighted to know he made it possible for me to be one of those. I will grow in Jesus’ grace and knowledge until I return the breath received at birth. For now, I’m content to see “through a glass darkly”.

I can see! It’s a miracle!

Ken and Nancy Williams served for some 25 years in pastoral ministry, and then almost another 20 years serving and mentoring other pastors.  With the heart of a pastor Ken continues to write and blog from upstate New York where he and Nancy live close to their grandchildren.