Cinna, and Unconditional Love – Ken Williams
Receiving and giving unconditional love is beautiful, perhaps most appreciated when someone we love is taken from us. Daring to love and be loved helps break down barriers of selfishness, fearfulness, and loneliness. Jesus’ faith alone makes it possible to face life with our guard down. Those who rely on his peace have courage to accept life on God’s terms, willing to love and be loved, no matter the cost.
Nancy and I are grieving the loss of our dog, Cinna. She shared her unconditional love and loyalty with us for nine years. Dog? Yes! But not just a dog. This was Cinna, the sweetest puppy in all our neighborhood. I would pat and rub her head repeating those words to her every time I took her for a walk. The neighbors agreed. Okay, was the opening paragraph too dramatic an introduction for this story? Maybe, but I think not. Here is her story.
There once was a little dog, a long-haired miniature Dachshund, mix. She looked like a Dachshund, elongated back, nose, and markings, all except her legs. They were too long for a purebred, and though some found this amusing, she had an advantage when chasing squirrels. Her birthplace remains a mystery, but her dog tags revealed that someone loved her enough to provide veterinarian care and to train her to be housebroken. Something occurred and she became homeless along the state of Alabama coast. This is where she began her long journey home.
The homeless part of her journey left her exhausted, injured, emaciated, and filthy. She was fortunate to find a doorstep where there is love. Our niece found her, included her in their family, and gave her the care she needed. Our niece’s daughter named her Cinna. Her dog tag information was insufficient to locate her owner. Her new family returned the unconditional love Cinna gave them, but their home was not the end of her journey.
Our oldest son drove to Alabama and took Cinna to his apartment in Atlanta, GA. He loved her, and the appreciative little dog gave love to her new “daddy”. But then his employer began sending him to work internationally and our son didn’t like putting her in the kennel. Our daughter told her brother she would take Cinna in their home here in upstate NY, close to Nancy’s and my home. Our family was taking care of Cinna, so they didn’t share her story with us. Our son and Cinna boarded their flight in Atlanta destined to arrive at the airport three miles from us, and he decided to make our home his first stop after their arrival.
Only a couple of days before they arrived Nancy shared with me that she would like to add a dog to our home. Neither she nor I knew what was coming. I told her I didn’t feel ready for this responsibility and was not interested. As it turns out it didn’t matter that I felt unprepared. When our son and Cinna arrived, he rented a car, and dropped by the house before taking her to his sister’s home. When I returned home after work, Cinna met me at the back door. She presented herself with the most charming little pose possible. She was sitting, elevating her ears, looking me full in the face, and wagging her tail. She patiently waited for my response to her greeting. Focusing on her big brown eyes, I could see her anticipation and I gushed, “Oh! You are our dog!” I knelt as she walked to me and kissed my hand. She knew she was home, 1,200 miles from where the journey began.
Nine years later.
On a recent Friday morning, Cinna whimpered, she was in pain. The veterinarian x-rayed her back three weeks earlier and discovered the injury she received while homeless was deteriorating. He discouraged surgery. The old injuries took their toll, she was suffering, and there was nothing further they could do for her. Â She was incontinent, smelled, and hung her head shamefully. We knew the time had come to relieve her suffering. Nancy bathed Cinna and I called the vet to schedule the time. We cuddled with her before going and after arriving at the clinic. We stroked and expressed our love for her, she kissed our hands, then died peacefully. Sometimes it hurts to love and be loved.
Unconditional love can hurt but it’s worth it. Jesus is God’s incarnate self-revelation, and God is love. Jesus loved his friends to the end, but few were able to return it, except Lazarus’ sister Mary. She purchased a precious perfume and anointed Jesus’ feet for the day of his burial. He gave his all, suffering the consequences of loving unconditionally. He makes it possible for us to receive and give his love, especially when it hurts.
Ken and Nancy Williams served for some 25 years in pastoral ministry, and then almost another 20 years serving and mentoring other pastors. With the heart of a pastor Ken continues to write and blog from upstate New York where he and Nancy live close to their grandchildren.