Blessed are Those Who Wrestle – Brad Jersak

“Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair, can in their consolation believe only in the God idea, not God himself.” (Miguel de Unamuno)-

Jacob, the Wrestler

• So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.
  • Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
• But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
  • The man asked him, “What is your name?”
  • “Jacob,” he answered.
• Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,
  • because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
• Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”
• But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.
• So Jacob called the place ‘Peniel,’ saying,
• “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”
• (Genesis 32:24-30)

• In the womb, [Jacob] grasped his brother’s heel;
•     as a man, he struggled with God.
• He struggled with the angel and overcame him;
•     he wept and begged for his favor.
• He found him at Bethel
•     and talked with him there—
• the Lord God Almighty,
•     the Lord is his name!
• (Hosea 12:3-5)

How blessed are those who wrestle; they shall see God!

As a newly christened sexagenarian (that’s not an exotic cult, just a birthday milestone!), I’ve witnessed a significant cultural transition over my lifetime: from obsessing over certainty to valuing the role of doubt. The shift has been particularly noticeable (to me) when it seemed most people used to only trust spiritual leaders who seemed to “have it together,” were unwavering in their confidence, and certain in their convictions. For them, doubt was a weakness and a sin. So, their certitude was seen as a virtue and a sign of strength that offered stability and nourished trust.

But at some point, we began to value authenticity and vulnerability, and we learned not to trust leaders who didn’t walk with a spiritual limp (if they didn’t, what were they hiding?). We began hearing that doubt is normal, welcome, and even important to our growth. In fact, we learned that certitude can be a sin (see Pete Enn’s book, The Sin of Certainty), and dogmatism can be spiritually abusive. We discovered that wrestling with God is not a sign of defiance but of intimate trust in approaching the One who is not rattled by our hard questions… we began to read the Book of Job, Lamentations, and David’s lament Psalms, not as problems to be solved, but as resonant cries from our own hearts. And in that struggle, through “ugly crying” and “cussing prayers,” many of us experienced a new closeness to God.

Calvin’s Assurance

This posture is the opposite of what I read John Calvin’s Institutes. To be fair, he was dealing with a pastoral problem in which many Christians were suffering from the anxiety of wondering if they had done enough to earn their salvation… were they devout enough, had prayed enough, believed the right thing, served enough, and with the right motives. To that anxiety, Calvin wants to say, “Be at peace; it’s not about righteous deeds that you have done but according to God’s great mercy.” Well, actually, Paul said it that way in Titus 3:5. Calvin should have stuck to that, but what actually came out was more like, “Some of you are predestined to salvation according to God’s preordained decree.”

In his model, God elects some to salvation. Of course, this only creates a new fear: Am I one of the elect or not? And how can I know? How can I be SURE? Calvin to the rescue:

1. You will know you are one of “God’s elect” IF the Holy Spirit gives you the gift of assurance that you are one the elect…because the elect are given that assurance. [But what if I don’t have that assurance? Or what if I only have it sometimes? How much is enough assurance to be sure?]
   
2. At the same time, Calvin writes (virtually on the facing page) that many who do have that strong sense of assurance in their election are self-deceived. They presume they are elect but are not. [So my assurance might be fake? A deception? Well, I WAS sure, but now I’m not!].

This double-bind of certitude stands in stark contrast to the stories of God’s biblical confidants, whose confidence developed through a lifetime of wrestling, questioning, stumbling, wandering, and wondering their way right into the Divine embrace, and where they continue to wriggle like toddlers until they find peace… They learned to trust God as they experienced God’s faithfulness regardless of their troubles.

Don’t be anxious… Seriously?

I spoke with a young man this week who suffers from a chronic anxiety disorder. He told me how beaten up he felt by a preacher who offered a path out of anxiety into the presence of God. The problem was that the two states were presented dogmatically as mutually exclusive, so he felt accused and condemned. “When I am in God’s presence, I will not be anxious. But I am anxious, therefore, I am not in God’s presence.” We call this “separation theology,” and it had cornered him.

Further, we err when we reduce all anxiety (and its cure) to a choice we need to make: “If you would just…” [trust God and stop worrying]. “What if I can’t?” The effect was similar to the inflictions Calvin both tried to solve and ended up causing.

When Paul says, “Don’t be anxious about anything, pray about everything,” I don’t think he was ignorant of how anxiety works. I suspect he’s not telling the anxious ones to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. He’s addressing a very real condition and reminding them (and himself) that prayer and meditation are one way to find relief (not a magical cure). I’ll leave further comments on that to qualified experts.

Is their peace for the anxious?

Okay, we won’t cajol or condemn people who wrestle with faith and experience doubt as torment. Doesn’t Jesus offer peace? I hope so. But my hope is not simply wishful thinking. I believe that when Jesus says, “Come to me… I will give you rest,” that includes the anxious, whether for brief reprieves or long-term care. Jesus knows that “coming to him” can be a struggle and that “I will give you rest” is not a drive-thru oil change.

BUT to begin with, I believe it’s a good start when we can hear how our wrestling is blessed rather than cursed, our doubts are engaged rather than spurned, and our stumbling and writhing are always welcome in the loving Presence of a caring God. Those are the arms extended in welcome today and every day.

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